Ok...I have heard many quotes on patience. There's the standard "Patience is a virtue" or "Patience is a passion tamed"...or how about my favorite " The secret to patience is doing something else in the meantime"
Something else in the meantime..are you serious?..you have got to be kidding me??...how about tearing every single strand of my highlighted hair out of my head, and gorging my eyes out with a butter knife?
Who are these people who came up with these stupid quotes?...I mean not anybody who has ever had to stand in back of some 75 year old woman at the supermarket who slipped 50 items in the express lane, with an "old lady" purse of expired coupons to pay with them.
Ya..this is what I am talking about...tame that kind of inner passion that makes you want to "drop kick her to whatever "Shady Pines" retirement home she escaped from.
I am not a mean person..no not at all..but It's really hard to live in the moment when everybody and their mother is holding you hostage there because they feel it necessary to, oh I don't know,....tell me about the strange growth they had removed from their left toe, while I am trying to pay for gas.
I have met a few patient people..but I think they were either highly medicated, or super super rich which enabled them to pay other people to be patient for them. Whatever...I am done getting home at 11 p.m. at night and it's all because some 15 year old "tweenager" at McDonalds decided I have to wait 25 minutes because he doesn't know how to work the McFlurry machine!
Somebody told me once.."Melissa once you have kids then you will get lots of patience"..Oh god help my future offspring..seriously I will have them eating solid foods, getting their drivers license, and graduating for college with their Bachelors, before their first birthday arrives!
Somebody else told me to try yoga and meditation class..ya lets just say I got kicked out of that class, and there is a picture of my face on the wall with orders to not let me enter the premise.
Maybe someday I will get some patience..but I am sorry as long as there is traffic on the 405 and parents who insist on letting their children run around "Super Target" unsupervised, I have an excuse to buy very large bottles of wine..and kickbox out my frustrations to the entire soundrack of the "Matrix!" Just be glad I am not kickboxing the heck out of old ladies at my local Vons:)
No comments:
Post a Comment