When I was a little girl, my best friend Roxy(not her real name) was obsessed with bridal magazines.
She had her dress,cake,venue,dishes,flowers,etc completely planned out by the age of six,
I remember asking her one day that if she was aware that a groom was part of the whole process and that she might want to factor him into the whole equation, and that after the party she was gonna have to wash some guys boxers or briefs at the end of the day.
I thought she was a bit "nutty" to be so obsessed with all this for one stupid day of walking down the aisle in a cloud of white taffeta(it was the eighties and tafetta was in)and maybe it was because I had two parents who did the marriage thing and it didn't exactly end happily ever after.
Don't get me wrong, every little girl dreams of that big day..that day when she is he most important and beatiful girl on the face of the earth. I just assumed that someday this would happen for me too, massive collection of bridal magazines or not.
Roxy got married all right, and the funny thing is she actually bought her wedding dress before she met her husband..so again the bit "nutty" part was validated.
Luckily for her, things actually worked out, and although I didn't attend, I am positive it was quite the show.
I however should have probably taken her lead and maybe started planning out my happily ever after at an early age, but unfortunetly I was too busy dreaming of walking down a different aisle..the red carpet.
So whats wrong with me??..how is it that most of my friends, my little sister, and everybody under the sun is married and I am at home watching the "Real Housewives of New Jersey" and eating lean cuisine from the microwave?
I am as far away from marriage as "Cher" is from her original face. I also think that having two parents who have married and divorced in the multitudes have made me a bit jaded.
Let me tell you something..being 36 years old and having to be out there in the "dating" world sucks!
I mean I see all these smiley happy in love couples who are so in love, and they always have this great story on how they met, and then they laugh and giggle and go copulate like rabbits and plan their platinum weddings.
Where are all these people meeting eachother??..not at any of the local bars or nightclubs I am going to on the weekends I'll tell you that.
I mean are there just single awesome guys just out there wandering around waiting for me to bump into them whileI am fixing the strap on my Jimmy Choo's? Perhaps one will just suddenly jump out from behind a bush to save me from a wild bear? Hey I know maybe "Mr.Wonderful" will be standing next to me in the express lane at the supermarket and notice all my single girl groceries and ask if he can take me home and grill me a steak?
Ya..this is what I am saying...I am so happy for all this love that finds everybody, but it seems to be way off course when it comes to me. In fact it is so off course that he is gonna need one hell of a GPS to find his way into my heart.
Am I bitter?...Nahhhhhhhh...just curious, maybe a little sad, and perhaps a little worried that if cupid doesn't get his act together, I am never gonna end up knowing what it's like to say he liked me so much he put a ring on it! I don't even want a ring at this point, maybe just a "hi it's nice to meet you, would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night":)
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
You know it is time to do your laundry when you are wearing your underwear with "mistletoe" on the front.
Ok, there are a lot of things I like in life, and then there are just a few things I despise.
They include, watching the Bacherlorette, going to Home Depot,anything and everything containing Tofu,Barry Manilow, Barry Manilow singing Copacabana, Cats(not the musical, although after seeing it 9 times, I am a little over it) people who wear shirts with Cats on them, people who insist to singing along to songs they do not know the words too, and...well I could go on.
There is however one thing, one little thing that lets just say I would rather have my teeth drilled, while changing a tire in the middle of the night, while listening to Barry Manilow sing Copa then do..and it my darlings is LAUNDRY!!
Yep, some people find it enjoyable..the sorting, the folding, the scent of fresh fabric softner as it hits your nose...ya not one of them.
It's kinda not my fault though, let me tell you how it all started.
I have a lot of roots in Lousiana..lived there for a good 10 years, and 6 of them were spent living with my grandmother.
Now in Lousiana it is tradition that Monday is "wash day" and that on "wash day" you must make up a big mess of "red beans and rice"
I used to love Monday's, not only cuz my grandmother made the best "red beans" that side of the "Mississippi", but because her maid "Miss Clara" would do my wash for me.
Ok, I know what you are thinking, I was a spoiled little princess, but I loved "Miss Clara" she was the "bombchikeebombbomb" and she taught me the essentials of laundry, and they are.. a. I don't like it, and b..it is much nicer to have somebody do it for you! I also enjoyed the ironing, bed making, and cleaning up the "hair product gone wild" fiasco that took place every morning before I went to class.
So alas...I guess you could say that I am a "late bloomer" when it comes to the domestics, and it sucks cuz I don't have "Miss Clara", and I also live in Cali now, where they don't care what day you do your wash on, and eating legumes aren't really a big part of it either.
So I gotta do it today, cuz I am down to my emergency pair of last underwear, the ones I only wear on Christmas, and being that it's the middle of August I am not feeling the "Jolly". I usually would say "screw it, and just go to Vicoria's Secret and buy a bunch more,but it's getting a little out of control, and I gotta cut back on the lacy undergarments or I won't be able to make rent this month.
I also hate to do it because I live in an apartment complex and have to share the laundry room with my neighbors, who ironically don't care for me much. See they don't share my love for "Lady Gaga" and "Greenday" at 7.a.m. and have been living me little sticky notes on my door telling me so.
I also don't like folding all my undergarments in front of my downstairs neighbor..he creeps me out the way he stares at me when I fold them. I can't tell whether he likes to see what I wear under my "skinny jeans" or he is planning to steal them and wear them at night?..Ima just sayin!
I have spent the last 45 minutes scrounging for quarters too!! I used to have a jar of them, but one night my friends and I started to play drinking games, and along with lets take a shot everytime Melissa says "OMG" or "Fabulous" we played a game of quarters. I have been dumping out all my purses(65), pockets(2,89096), and "Special K" boxes(1-Very Berry) looking for Mr. Washingtons:)
So now I am about to lug my skivvies down to the "communal abyss of washers, and dryers" with my "Downy soft" under my arm. I use "Downy" because I got tired of buying "Snuggle" and not having a "cute cuddly bear" fly down and help me out..seriously Denied!!
Many Thanks "Miss Clara"..for the many years of doing my wash, and not a day goes by that I don't remember the sweet bliss of not having to do anything with a "lint trap"..a moment of silence for you!!
They include, watching the Bacherlorette, going to Home Depot,anything and everything containing Tofu,Barry Manilow, Barry Manilow singing Copacabana, Cats(not the musical, although after seeing it 9 times, I am a little over it) people who wear shirts with Cats on them, people who insist to singing along to songs they do not know the words too, and...well I could go on.
There is however one thing, one little thing that lets just say I would rather have my teeth drilled, while changing a tire in the middle of the night, while listening to Barry Manilow sing Copa then do..and it my darlings is LAUNDRY!!
Yep, some people find it enjoyable..the sorting, the folding, the scent of fresh fabric softner as it hits your nose...ya not one of them.
It's kinda not my fault though, let me tell you how it all started.
I have a lot of roots in Lousiana..lived there for a good 10 years, and 6 of them were spent living with my grandmother.
Now in Lousiana it is tradition that Monday is "wash day" and that on "wash day" you must make up a big mess of "red beans and rice"
I used to love Monday's, not only cuz my grandmother made the best "red beans" that side of the "Mississippi", but because her maid "Miss Clara" would do my wash for me.
Ok, I know what you are thinking, I was a spoiled little princess, but I loved "Miss Clara" she was the "bombchikeebombbomb" and she taught me the essentials of laundry, and they are.. a. I don't like it, and b..it is much nicer to have somebody do it for you! I also enjoyed the ironing, bed making, and cleaning up the "hair product gone wild" fiasco that took place every morning before I went to class.
So alas...I guess you could say that I am a "late bloomer" when it comes to the domestics, and it sucks cuz I don't have "Miss Clara", and I also live in Cali now, where they don't care what day you do your wash on, and eating legumes aren't really a big part of it either.
So I gotta do it today, cuz I am down to my emergency pair of last underwear, the ones I only wear on Christmas, and being that it's the middle of August I am not feeling the "Jolly". I usually would say "screw it, and just go to Vicoria's Secret and buy a bunch more,but it's getting a little out of control, and I gotta cut back on the lacy undergarments or I won't be able to make rent this month.
I also hate to do it because I live in an apartment complex and have to share the laundry room with my neighbors, who ironically don't care for me much. See they don't share my love for "Lady Gaga" and "Greenday" at 7.a.m. and have been living me little sticky notes on my door telling me so.
I also don't like folding all my undergarments in front of my downstairs neighbor..he creeps me out the way he stares at me when I fold them. I can't tell whether he likes to see what I wear under my "skinny jeans" or he is planning to steal them and wear them at night?..Ima just sayin!
I have spent the last 45 minutes scrounging for quarters too!! I used to have a jar of them, but one night my friends and I started to play drinking games, and along with lets take a shot everytime Melissa says "OMG" or "Fabulous" we played a game of quarters. I have been dumping out all my purses(65), pockets(2,89096), and "Special K" boxes(1-Very Berry) looking for Mr. Washingtons:)
So now I am about to lug my skivvies down to the "communal abyss of washers, and dryers" with my "Downy soft" under my arm. I use "Downy" because I got tired of buying "Snuggle" and not having a "cute cuddly bear" fly down and help me out..seriously Denied!!
Many Thanks "Miss Clara"..for the many years of doing my wash, and not a day goes by that I don't remember the sweet bliss of not having to do anything with a "lint trap"..a moment of silence for you!!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
I ordered some "Patience" 36 years ago..still waiting for it to arrive:)
Ok...I have heard many quotes on patience. There's the standard "Patience is a virtue" or "Patience is a passion tamed"...or how about my favorite " The secret to patience is doing something else in the meantime"
Something else in the meantime..are you serious?..you have got to be kidding me??...how about tearing every single strand of my highlighted hair out of my head, and gorging my eyes out with a butter knife?
Who are these people who came up with these stupid quotes?...I mean not anybody who has ever had to stand in back of some 75 year old woman at the supermarket who slipped 50 items in the express lane, with an "old lady" purse of expired coupons to pay with them.
Ya..this is what I am talking about...tame that kind of inner passion that makes you want to "drop kick her to whatever "Shady Pines" retirement home she escaped from.
I am not a mean person..no not at all..but It's really hard to live in the moment when everybody and their mother is holding you hostage there because they feel it necessary to, oh I don't know,....tell me about the strange growth they had removed from their left toe, while I am trying to pay for gas.
I have met a few patient people..but I think they were either highly medicated, or super super rich which enabled them to pay other people to be patient for them. Whatever...I am done getting home at 11 p.m. at night and it's all because some 15 year old "tweenager" at McDonalds decided I have to wait 25 minutes because he doesn't know how to work the McFlurry machine!
Somebody told me once.."Melissa once you have kids then you will get lots of patience"..Oh god help my future offspring..seriously I will have them eating solid foods, getting their drivers license, and graduating for college with their Bachelors, before their first birthday arrives!
Somebody else told me to try yoga and meditation class..ya lets just say I got kicked out of that class, and there is a picture of my face on the wall with orders to not let me enter the premise.
Maybe someday I will get some patience..but I am sorry as long as there is traffic on the 405 and parents who insist on letting their children run around "Super Target" unsupervised, I have an excuse to buy very large bottles of wine..and kickbox out my frustrations to the entire soundrack of the "Matrix!" Just be glad I am not kickboxing the heck out of old ladies at my local Vons:)
Something else in the meantime..are you serious?..you have got to be kidding me??...how about tearing every single strand of my highlighted hair out of my head, and gorging my eyes out with a butter knife?
Who are these people who came up with these stupid quotes?...I mean not anybody who has ever had to stand in back of some 75 year old woman at the supermarket who slipped 50 items in the express lane, with an "old lady" purse of expired coupons to pay with them.
Ya..this is what I am talking about...tame that kind of inner passion that makes you want to "drop kick her to whatever "Shady Pines" retirement home she escaped from.
I am not a mean person..no not at all..but It's really hard to live in the moment when everybody and their mother is holding you hostage there because they feel it necessary to, oh I don't know,....tell me about the strange growth they had removed from their left toe, while I am trying to pay for gas.
I have met a few patient people..but I think they were either highly medicated, or super super rich which enabled them to pay other people to be patient for them. Whatever...I am done getting home at 11 p.m. at night and it's all because some 15 year old "tweenager" at McDonalds decided I have to wait 25 minutes because he doesn't know how to work the McFlurry machine!
Somebody told me once.."Melissa once you have kids then you will get lots of patience"..Oh god help my future offspring..seriously I will have them eating solid foods, getting their drivers license, and graduating for college with their Bachelors, before their first birthday arrives!
Somebody else told me to try yoga and meditation class..ya lets just say I got kicked out of that class, and there is a picture of my face on the wall with orders to not let me enter the premise.
Maybe someday I will get some patience..but I am sorry as long as there is traffic on the 405 and parents who insist on letting their children run around "Super Target" unsupervised, I have an excuse to buy very large bottles of wine..and kickbox out my frustrations to the entire soundrack of the "Matrix!" Just be glad I am not kickboxing the heck out of old ladies at my local Vons:)
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
You are not what you eat..if so then I would be a giant Gummi Bear!
Ok..so a good friend of mine just texted me she feels like a giant lump of "cottage cheese".
Cottage Cheese??..really??...hmmm?? Ok first of all if you are gonna be a food, at least make it a good one. Do not make it a curdled dairy product..I mean if your gonna compare, be a giant sized cup of "Chunky Monkey"..you still have the "I feel fat theme" going on, but at least it's with your friends Ben and Jerry.
Gurlliess Stop it!! We are so much better then walking around thinking this way! Where do we get these thoughts that our bodies are suddenly morphing into bumpy milk? I mean I remember watching that scene in "Willy Wonka" where the chick turns into a giant Blueberry and they like roll her home..I am thinking OMG..thats gonna so fuck with her body image. She's gonna be in therapy for the rest of her life..thanks Wonka!
I myself have fallen victim to the body bashing..hmmmm??..ya just a bit. I have compared my thighs to ham hocks, my breasts to kiwi fruit, and my ass to a giant bowl of cherry jello. I think all of us gurls, should just get together and form one big Smorgasboard!! Please pass the dumplings, and could I have a bit of your chicken fat ass??
You know I figured out a long time ago, that if you sit in front of a white wall for 20 years and tell yourself that it is actually "hot pink" at the end of those 20 years that white wall is gonna be nothing but "hot pink"
We will sit and spend hours and hours looking at ourselves and then obssessing on the negative, then you know what??.. pretty soon our thighs actually start to resemble smoked meat products, and our ass does turn into chocolate pudding.
My point is...this is not productive! We have to sit around and think of what we offer to this world, what we contribute to it, and how people are drawn to us because of what we represent, not because we look a certain way!
Most of the day other people are thinking about other things..they are thinking about work, the kids, finances, baseball, friggin going home and playing with their dogs. This is what life is about..not sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves cuz we hate our bodies!
Can we start for once to look in the mirror and appreciate all the good things about ourselves..the fact that we have two legs that enable us to walk, to run, to dance. Our smiles, our belly-buttons, our adorable toes?
I am all about feeling good about myself..but I don't focus on all that negative crap anymoreee!! I wasted 17 years of my effing life giving energy to what I looked like, what other people wanted me to look like, and you know what at the end of it all, I was one tired hot mess..kindof like a giant plate of chopped suey!!..ya real pretty!
I don't care if you don't believe it now, but if you act like you love yourself and project good energy and confidence, people are gonna think you are the shit!
Nobody wants to be around sorry..they want to be around..love and light, and all that is Fabulous!!
Life is always gonna be full of ups and downs..but we have to stop taking it out on our bodies!
The next time you find yourself comparing your body to some super-models, or negating energy on your not so great features..stop yourself immedietly... I want you to then think of a time where you really felt great about yourself..where you felt Beautiful..inside and out.
Maybe it was your wedding day, or the day you had a child, or your 6th grade ballet recital. Come on..think..think ..think.!! When you get that image I want you to tatoo it into your Psyche along with the feeling it gave you in your heart! Take that with you when you feel bad..and divert your energy into doing productive things in life with productive people!
Enjoy your life darlings..go for nice walks, eat juicy apples, paint your toes red, and put on some Rock and Roll!
Life's a journey. you.may not know where you are going, but it's always gonna take you to someplace you have never been!
Love yourselves today...and remember we are not what we Eat!!..not even close!!
MWAH!
Miss Meliss
Cottage Cheese??..really??...hmmm?? Ok first of all if you are gonna be a food, at least make it a good one. Do not make it a curdled dairy product..I mean if your gonna compare, be a giant sized cup of "Chunky Monkey"..you still have the "I feel fat theme" going on, but at least it's with your friends Ben and Jerry.
Gurlliess Stop it!! We are so much better then walking around thinking this way! Where do we get these thoughts that our bodies are suddenly morphing into bumpy milk? I mean I remember watching that scene in "Willy Wonka" where the chick turns into a giant Blueberry and they like roll her home..I am thinking OMG..thats gonna so fuck with her body image. She's gonna be in therapy for the rest of her life..thanks Wonka!
I myself have fallen victim to the body bashing..hmmmm??..ya just a bit. I have compared my thighs to ham hocks, my breasts to kiwi fruit, and my ass to a giant bowl of cherry jello. I think all of us gurls, should just get together and form one big Smorgasboard!! Please pass the dumplings, and could I have a bit of your chicken fat ass??
You know I figured out a long time ago, that if you sit in front of a white wall for 20 years and tell yourself that it is actually "hot pink" at the end of those 20 years that white wall is gonna be nothing but "hot pink"
We will sit and spend hours and hours looking at ourselves and then obssessing on the negative, then you know what??.. pretty soon our thighs actually start to resemble smoked meat products, and our ass does turn into chocolate pudding.
My point is...this is not productive! We have to sit around and think of what we offer to this world, what we contribute to it, and how people are drawn to us because of what we represent, not because we look a certain way!
Most of the day other people are thinking about other things..they are thinking about work, the kids, finances, baseball, friggin going home and playing with their dogs. This is what life is about..not sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves cuz we hate our bodies!
Can we start for once to look in the mirror and appreciate all the good things about ourselves..the fact that we have two legs that enable us to walk, to run, to dance. Our smiles, our belly-buttons, our adorable toes?
I am all about feeling good about myself..but I don't focus on all that negative crap anymoreee!! I wasted 17 years of my effing life giving energy to what I looked like, what other people wanted me to look like, and you know what at the end of it all, I was one tired hot mess..kindof like a giant plate of chopped suey!!..ya real pretty!
I don't care if you don't believe it now, but if you act like you love yourself and project good energy and confidence, people are gonna think you are the shit!
Nobody wants to be around sorry..they want to be around..love and light, and all that is Fabulous!!
Life is always gonna be full of ups and downs..but we have to stop taking it out on our bodies!
The next time you find yourself comparing your body to some super-models, or negating energy on your not so great features..stop yourself immedietly... I want you to then think of a time where you really felt great about yourself..where you felt Beautiful..inside and out.
Maybe it was your wedding day, or the day you had a child, or your 6th grade ballet recital. Come on..think..think ..think.!! When you get that image I want you to tatoo it into your Psyche along with the feeling it gave you in your heart! Take that with you when you feel bad..and divert your energy into doing productive things in life with productive people!
Enjoy your life darlings..go for nice walks, eat juicy apples, paint your toes red, and put on some Rock and Roll!
Life's a journey. you.may not know where you are going, but it's always gonna take you to someplace you have never been!
Love yourselves today...and remember we are not what we Eat!!..not even close!!
MWAH!
Miss Meliss
I should have payed more attention in Drivers Ed!!
Ok..let me take you back to 1991..I was sitting in Mr. Black's drivers ed class and probably sporting some
steller acid wash jeans and shoulder pads.There is a video playing..showing some woman wearing a horrible outfit with bad hair driving her Ford Station wagon on the freeway..and OH NO! her brakes went out and she if flayling around like a monkey..then some guys boring voice comes on and tells you what to do in a situation...OK Freezeframe to 1991 Melissa not paying any attention, annoyed with the dumb video, probably writing a note to my best friend Amanda on how much I love Jimmy Enyeart..and how much I really am craving skittles.
See I didn't forsee 2010 Melissa driving to LA today and Hark..the brake light comes on..and yep you guessed it my brakes started to give out. The only thing going on in my head was..this sucks because I am really having a good hair day and I am not in the mood to go flaying about like a monkey when they stop working.
Thank god I made it off the freeway and now I am riding around Culver City with shotty brakes..whats a gurly to do?
I am like driving straight..and am so preoccupied with my brakes that I am not paying any attention to the road and people are like honking at me and screaming..I am like people for once I have an excuse to be driving like a dumb girl..MY BRAKES ARE OUT!..throw me a friggin bone already!
So I drive into the first place that says "Auto shop" ..ok..I take that back it said "British Auto Shop"..ok I thought this is cool perhaps while I am getting my car worked on I can have a spot of tea and watch some Master piece theatre.
Anyhoo I pull up and the guy(insert British accent) informs me that they only work on British Cars. Excuse me.??.Bristish cars..what is this friggin "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang"?
Seriously I am sorry but this is America..and last time I looked there were no a whole hell of alot of British cars around! I was miffed and annoyed and have this brilliant plan to move to England and open up an "American Auto shop" and when British people come in with their British cars..I will be like " sorry we only work on American cars here"..Cherrio!!
So moving on..I finallly found a place who was willing to work on a crappy "Dodge Neon"...and he's like showing me all the "clusterfuck" that is going on...and I am trying so hard to understand his lingo..I mean seriously if this were a pair of shoes I would have so understood him, cuz I understand shoes..but this is a car, and I know nothing about cars except they get me to and from the mall.
I am nodding and smiling and just wishing the hell I could get myself home to eat some soup and watch "The Rachel Zoe" project. I am like cool..um can we get this all taken care and wrapped up in an hour..I would really like to beat rush hour traffic? That guy looked at me like I had grown a giraffe out of my ass...Miss that is impossible and we need to keep it overnite.
Great..love it..now what? I am stranded in Culver City and there isn't a Starbucks nearby...I think I may start to get a little sussy here "American Auto shop dude"!
Well it helps to know the right people and the studio I am shooting with was nice enough to send a car and escort my tired self back to my crib. Well I practically gave birth to a Moose when he told me it was gonna cost me a pretty $410 dollars for some sparkly new brakes. WTF??..do you know how many cute shoes you could buy with $410 dollars??
Uggg..I hate things like this..they are a Bother!
Honestly thought at the end of the day I have to reflect on how lucky I am to have a car..how lucky I am to have people in my life who are there for me in ickee situations like this..and ya I am without a car for a day..but it gives me an excuse to put my read converse sneakers on and go for a "walkabout"!
So the lesson here kiddies is pay attention in drivers ed..and don't expect to get anything from the British in America unless you are sitting in a Pub!
steller acid wash jeans and shoulder pads.There is a video playing..showing some woman wearing a horrible outfit with bad hair driving her Ford Station wagon on the freeway..and OH NO! her brakes went out and she if flayling around like a monkey..then some guys boring voice comes on and tells you what to do in a situation...OK Freezeframe to 1991 Melissa not paying any attention, annoyed with the dumb video, probably writing a note to my best friend Amanda on how much I love Jimmy Enyeart..and how much I really am craving skittles.
See I didn't forsee 2010 Melissa driving to LA today and Hark..the brake light comes on..and yep you guessed it my brakes started to give out. The only thing going on in my head was..this sucks because I am really having a good hair day and I am not in the mood to go flaying about like a monkey when they stop working.
Thank god I made it off the freeway and now I am riding around Culver City with shotty brakes..whats a gurly to do?
I am like driving straight..and am so preoccupied with my brakes that I am not paying any attention to the road and people are like honking at me and screaming..I am like people for once I have an excuse to be driving like a dumb girl..MY BRAKES ARE OUT!..throw me a friggin bone already!
So I drive into the first place that says "Auto shop" ..ok..I take that back it said "British Auto Shop"..ok I thought this is cool perhaps while I am getting my car worked on I can have a spot of tea and watch some Master piece theatre.
Anyhoo I pull up and the guy(insert British accent) informs me that they only work on British Cars. Excuse me.??.Bristish cars..what is this friggin "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang"?
Seriously I am sorry but this is America..and last time I looked there were no a whole hell of alot of British cars around! I was miffed and annoyed and have this brilliant plan to move to England and open up an "American Auto shop" and when British people come in with their British cars..I will be like " sorry we only work on American cars here"..Cherrio!!
So moving on..I finallly found a place who was willing to work on a crappy "Dodge Neon"...and he's like showing me all the "clusterfuck" that is going on...and I am trying so hard to understand his lingo..I mean seriously if this were a pair of shoes I would have so understood him, cuz I understand shoes..but this is a car, and I know nothing about cars except they get me to and from the mall.
I am nodding and smiling and just wishing the hell I could get myself home to eat some soup and watch "The Rachel Zoe" project. I am like cool..um can we get this all taken care and wrapped up in an hour..I would really like to beat rush hour traffic? That guy looked at me like I had grown a giraffe out of my ass...Miss that is impossible and we need to keep it overnite.
Great..love it..now what? I am stranded in Culver City and there isn't a Starbucks nearby...I think I may start to get a little sussy here "American Auto shop dude"!
Well it helps to know the right people and the studio I am shooting with was nice enough to send a car and escort my tired self back to my crib. Well I practically gave birth to a Moose when he told me it was gonna cost me a pretty $410 dollars for some sparkly new brakes. WTF??..do you know how many cute shoes you could buy with $410 dollars??
Uggg..I hate things like this..they are a Bother!
Honestly thought at the end of the day I have to reflect on how lucky I am to have a car..how lucky I am to have people in my life who are there for me in ickee situations like this..and ya I am without a car for a day..but it gives me an excuse to put my read converse sneakers on and go for a "walkabout"!
So the lesson here kiddies is pay attention in drivers ed..and don't expect to get anything from the British in America unless you are sitting in a Pub!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
does this blog make my ass look big?
Greetings and Salutations...
So people have been telling me forever to start a blog..and I was like I really hate that word Blog..it sounds ugly therefore I will stay away from it.
Actually however I am extremely competitive and by bestie Alisa just started one, so I am never one to be the underdog and have launched my own. Take that gurlieeee...JK!
So lets see whats on my agenda today??.well first of all I will tell you it is Breakfast(the most essential meal of the day). I however just started to get up before noon..so breakfast foods in my kitchen seem to be at a deficit right now. I did however manage to scramble up some leftover sushi and a half of red bull....which ironically has given me enough energy to text message all the people in my life I would rather not, because Red bull just kind of does that to you!
So I tried to go to bed at a decent hour lastnight, but let me tell you I just got done breaking up with somebody and it doesn't exactly make for sweet dreams. Ya...I don't know wether to feel elated or let down being that I have never had my heart broken before..or lets just say scooped out of my chest with a melon baller, but needless to say it sucks. I do however kindof feel like I have taken this giant stick out of my skinny white ass..and that I must say feels better. I could just stay home and say screw this man...lets grow a unibrow and eat my weight in fried cheese..but that just aint the way I roll. Instead I put on my prettiest face and went out solo mind you to meet some friends..all male(which tickles a broken ego) and had a great time. Go figure I actually met some decent males over the age of 30 who didn't act like they were under the age of 10.
Opportunity is a wonderful thing..sometimes it knocks on the door and sometimes it just kindof breaks it down and holds you for ransom..I will take either!
So that Darlings it's whats on the Breakfast table today..do with it what you like!
Later-
Meliss
So people have been telling me forever to start a blog..and I was like I really hate that word Blog..it sounds ugly therefore I will stay away from it.
Actually however I am extremely competitive and by bestie Alisa just started one, so I am never one to be the underdog and have launched my own. Take that gurlieeee...JK!
So lets see whats on my agenda today??.well first of all I will tell you it is Breakfast(the most essential meal of the day). I however just started to get up before noon..so breakfast foods in my kitchen seem to be at a deficit right now. I did however manage to scramble up some leftover sushi and a half of red bull....which ironically has given me enough energy to text message all the people in my life I would rather not, because Red bull just kind of does that to you!
So I tried to go to bed at a decent hour lastnight, but let me tell you I just got done breaking up with somebody and it doesn't exactly make for sweet dreams. Ya...I don't know wether to feel elated or let down being that I have never had my heart broken before..or lets just say scooped out of my chest with a melon baller, but needless to say it sucks. I do however kindof feel like I have taken this giant stick out of my skinny white ass..and that I must say feels better. I could just stay home and say screw this man...lets grow a unibrow and eat my weight in fried cheese..but that just aint the way I roll. Instead I put on my prettiest face and went out solo mind you to meet some friends..all male(which tickles a broken ego) and had a great time. Go figure I actually met some decent males over the age of 30 who didn't act like they were under the age of 10.
Opportunity is a wonderful thing..sometimes it knocks on the door and sometimes it just kindof breaks it down and holds you for ransom..I will take either!
So that Darlings it's whats on the Breakfast table today..do with it what you like!
Later-
Meliss
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